Hold ’em/Fold ’em – Fantasy Football Matchups

The Brat is busier than a one-legged man in a butt whuppin’ contest this week so he’s going to defer to the Hotties in the Hot Tub for his fantasy football Start ’em/Sit ’ems for Week 3.

ENJOY!

Are you the sucker?

Did someone flip-flop my Week 1 Hold ’em and Fold ’em’s when I wasn’t looking? For the love of Gawd man! My Stone-Cold Nuts got counterfeited, every Hold ’em got cracked, none of my Fold ’em’s got there, and as far as my Big Dummy – well that would be me.

I guess I was The Sucker at the table in week 1. Hopefully I can get this thing turned around before my whole season becomes a f@#%!* grind.

The Brat isn’t going to stroke your ego by telling you to start A-Rodg, Brady, Brees, All-Day, Foster, CJ2K, AJ, Megatron, or Fitz. If you have those guys – Start ‘em! If you have all of those guys – quit playing fantasy football with your kids!

Let’s shuffle up and deal! 

DA PICKS – WEEK 2

Week 1 is in da books and although it didn’t go da way I’d hoped, it wasn’t all bad either. My locks weren’t locked, my upset upset me, but DA BEARS came thru helping me finish Week 1 with a 2-3 record.

Anyway ya didn’t come here to listen ta my belly-achin’  so let’s get started with Week 2 picks.

DA PICKS:

• Detroit giving 8.5 vs Kansas City – Buffalo might be better than everyone thought before da season started, but if dey can spank KC by 34 on da road then Detroit should make easy work of dis team at home. Lions by 3 scores.
• Oakland getting 3.5 at Buffalo – Like I mentioned earlier, Week 1 is always tough to figure out both before and after the game. Teams dat we didn’t expect a whole lot from shined, but are dey as good as dey showed? Buffalo cruised to a victory over KC last week, but this game will be a little closer. Gimme da hook.
• Atlanta getting 3 vs Philadelphia – Dis one could almost be a pick ’em. Vick coming home ta Atlanta will be da pre-game story, but da great football game will be da post-game story. I’m takin’ the home Dog (pun intended).

DA UPSET:

• San Diego getting 7 at New England – If Chad Henne could get in a shoot-out with Tom Brady then Rivers should have no problem putting up big numbers. Dis one comes down to a field goal. New England wins, but da Chargers cover.

DA BEARS:

• DA BEARS getting 7 at New Orleans – For da love a Gawd man! If you’re gonna gimme points all year I’m gonna keep takin’ ’em! DA BEARS go on da road dis week, but dey are goin’ ta da Super Dome with da fast track and Da Bears’ D is built for speed. Dey shut da Falcons down and will do da same to Brees and Co. Ship it!

– Ditka’s Mustache – Good luck gang!

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Disclaimer – Ditka’s Mustache ain’t no sports prognosticator, he only plays one on da interweb. Mustache’s picks are for entertainment purposes only. How yous mooks decide to spend your disposable income or kid’s college savings is your business.

Week 1-Hit Wonders?

Draft research? Gimme a break! Maybe you might want to enjoy your summer next year and let the computer auto-draft your team and figure it all out afterwards.

I’m guessing in all of The Brat’s 15,000+ hours of exhaustive draft prep this summer none if these guys were in the top tiers at their respective positions on any of his cheat sheets, but they were all among the league leaders in fantasy football after Week 1 came to an end.

Hold ’em/Fold ’em – Fantasy Football Match Ups

Week 1 of the 2011 NFL season kicked off  yesterday with the Green Packers defeating the New Orleans Saints so that means it’s time The Brat kicks off his weekly Fantasy Football Hold ‘em/Fold ‘em segment.

Each week The Brat will give you a few of his top starts and sits at QB/RB/WR including his Lock of the Week (Stone-Cold Nuts) and Bust of the Week (Dummy-End of the Straight).

The Brat isn’t going to stroke your ego by telling you to start A-Rodg, Brady, Brees, All-Day, Foster, CJ2K, AJ, Megatron, or Fitz. If you have those guys – Start ‘em! If you have all of those guys – quit playing fantasy football with your kids!

Are you ready for some football?

Week 1 is finally here gang and I’m here trying ta help ya degenerates put a few extra greenbacks in your pocket.

Each week I will give ya some of my favorite plays vs. da spread, my upset special of da week, and of course DA BEARS game!

Without further ado heres ya go:

DA PICKS:

• Pittsburgh getting 2 at Baltimore – Da Steelers are simply da better team. Pittsburgh has won their last 8 opening day games and 7 straight vs. da Ravens including playoffs. Gimme da road dog.
• San Diego giving 8.5 vs Minnesota – Da Chargers defense might not be as strong as it once was, but neither is da Vikings D. Philip Rivers and da Chargers offense will be too much for McNabb and All Day ta handle. Chargers by 2 scores.
• Houston giving 9 vs Indianapolis – Houston might’ve covered this line with Peyton Manning in the game, but with him sidelined I definitely like Houston to cover here.

DA UPSET :

• St. Louis getting 5 at home vs. Philadelphia – I like da Rams to win this game outright so if ya wanna gimme 5 points I’m not gonna insult your generosity. Both teams are much improved, but Da Dream Team gets an eye-opener right outta da gates.

DA BEARS:

• DA BEARS getting 3 vs Atlanta – This is stealing. Da Bears should be giving da tree points. Gimme da tree and DA BEARS. Ship it!

– Ditka’s Mustache – Good luck gang!

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Disclaimer – Ditka’s Mustache ain’t no sports prognosticator, he only plays one on da interweb. Mustache’s picks are for entertainment purposes only. How yous mooks decide to spend your disposable income or kid’s college savings is your business.

DM’s Picks Picked Apart

At the risk of taunting the legend, here’s some quick thoughts based on Ditka’s Mustache’s picks to click.

My top 3 Bears’ of All-Time

#1 – SWEETNESS! – Walter Payton

Not only da best RB, but da best football player of all-time.

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#2 – RIDICULOUS! – Devin Hester

Da greatest kick returner in the history of the game. Ya get outta your seat when dis guy is on da field.

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#3 – QB KILLER – Corey Wootton

Corey Wootton jumped way into my top 3 Chicago Bears players of all-time after he not only ended Favre’s 2nd Consectutive Games Started streak at 1, but he also ended Favre’s career once and for all.

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–Ditka’s Mustache

Ditka’s Mustache’s Pre-season Picks to Click

Beat and Brat told me dey don’t do predictions so dey gave dis assignment ta me. I’ll mostly be givin’ ya my picks against da spread all season, but ta get things kicked off I decided ta give ya some preseason picks.

So here dey goes…

3 Rookies I wish I had space for…

Stevan Ridley – he might be this year’s LawFirm – especially if LawFirm get’s dinged. The Pats put RBs in the red zone often.

Bilal Powell – Who? He’s behind the questionable Shonn Greene, the ancient LT2, and he’s “tied” with 2nd year Joe McKnight. But, if he gets a chance, he might do well, since he’s the type of bruising, between the tackles RB the Jets love.

Titus Young – The Lions will be one of the most potent offenses again, focusing on their passing game. CJ will get his; Burleson is a decent WR3/WR4 type. But, Young could turn some heads by midseason, as D’s focus on Megatron and Recepticon.